Monday, May 23, 2011

Eroscillator: Holy Grail or Epic Fail?

Like many of you out there, I do my research before investing in an expensive piece of equipment.  The Eroscillator was no exception.  I looked at the website http://www.eroscillator.com, watched Youtube videos and read online reviews.  All of which contained absolutely positive reviews.  According to the manufacturer’s website, the Eroscillator is not a traditional vibrator.  It actually should not even be called a vibrator or be put in the same category.  It oscillates, rather than vibrates your clitoris.  The website also claims it provides “more powerful and longer lasting orgasms.” 

One claim which sparked my interest was that the Eroscillator does not numb your clitoris after use.  For any of those gals out there who have experienced such a thing, than you know why my interest was peaked.  The Eroscillator comes with a couple of attachments and a hefty price to follow.  There are a couple of combinations or bundles, starting with the device and basic attachments and ending with a basketful of attachments one doesn’t know what to do with.  Prices range from $139.95 - $254.95.

I would just like to start off my review by explaining my mindset when I was contemplating buying this device.  One night while I was exploring myself, I brought out my rabbit vibrator (another eBay purchase).  The rabbit is a hit and miss with me, but that is for another review.  This particular night it was a major miss.  I hopped on for the ride, but it missed the exit.  Eventually after an hour or more of frustration, I tossed it aside and went old fashion (fingers). 

Finishing off what the rabbit could not, I started to wonder if there was a device that could replace my index finger.  While waiting for my pelvis to relax (the rabbit does a number on your pelvis), I wondered if spending money on man-made devices could ever surpass the pleasures of a god-made body part.  Feeling intrigued, I decided to put my suspicions to a test.  As a result, a fire was lit under my ass and I was determined to find the best clitoris stimulator on the market.

Of course, my place of shopping happens to be Ebay, so I browsed the hundreds of pages of vibrators.  I came across many devices and came across two possibilities.  One was the Eroscillator and the other was a LELO vibrator.  Off I went and googled the hell out of both products.  I read reviews and both were highly recommended.  Dr. Ruth even endorsed the Eroscillator. 

Two things made me purchase the Eroscillator over the LELO.  One was that the Eroscillator did not act like a vibrator, it oscillates.  WOW!!!  Or at least that’s what I thought.  What finally made my decision was that obviously because the Eroscillator was more expensive, then it must be better.  (Tip #1:  Never make this assumption when buying sex toys.)

I ordered the Eroscillator 2 Plus on ebay from the seller:  comeandgone for $139.95 + free shipping.  (The only reason I am giving you this information is to give anyone an opportunity to buy one if they choose to.  I am not affiliated with the seller.  Please be adults and contact the seller only if you are seriously interested in buying a product.  I had a great transaction with this seller, even though the product did not work out for me.)

Anticipation always takes over once you have placed an order.  However, considering how much money I spent, my anticipation was boiling over.  Door bell rings…I wasn’t there…Package gets left outside…someone puts it on the kitchen counter…I eventually see it, tackle it, and warp speed to my room.  It took a while to get the packing all out, but I managed to get a good look at it.  It comes in a box with instructions (gave it a quick look …tossed it), the device itself, a power cord (device must be plugged into the wall in order to work), and three attachments. 

First thing I did was wash the three attachments it came with (very easy to do, just use soap and water).  Although it was late afternoon and I normally like to get down after dark, I decided to test it out.  I can’t remember which attachment I started with, but I do remember the experience in general.   The attachments I have are the Grapes and Cockscomb (insert your own joke here), the Golden Spoon, and Ball and Cup. 

The Eroscillator has three speeds.  After testing my memory skills, I believe I tried out the Ball and Cup attachment first.  I used a light amount of lube and placed the attachment on my clit. 
Conversation as it happened in my head:
            Speed 1:  Oh…oooo….okay that’s different…uh…uh…uh…uh…nothings happening…uh…uh…uh…am I doing this right…uh…uh…uh… what time is it?...uh…uh…uh…
            Speed 2:  Yikes!...oh…oooo…okay that’s better….uh….uh…uh…nothings happening…uh…uh…uh…am I doing this right….uh….uh…uh….Grrr…maybe I should try another attachment.
            Speed 3:  Fuck that shit!
            Speed 1:  God, is there something wrong with me?

Sounds earth shattering doesn’t it?  Okay, I’m pretty sure I tried the Grapes and Cockscomb next.  Too make a long story short, after an hour or so I finally had an orgasm with the G & C attachment, but not with out some imagination on my part.  My orgasm was hardly worth talking about and definitely not “more powerful and longer lasting” than a vibrator.

There was absolutely no build up.  You know that feeling when you slowly finger your clit and you can feel the anticipation of an orgasm coming, well the Eroscillator doesn’t do that for me.  You think for a moment you feel something, and then it goes away as quickly as it came.  Eventually you have an orgasm, but it’s not a primal orgasm, where all you want to do is grunt and pass out afterwards. 

 I have had the Eroscillator for almost two months and have used it probably less than ten times.  Most of the time when I bring it out, it’s because I hope this time will be different or this time I will have that mind blowing orgasm.  Anyone who enjoys the come down from the peak of an orgasm will sadly miss that part with the Eroscillator.  I love it when I’m playing with my clit and I have a dildo fucking my pussy.  There is a moment where the planets align and you have an earth shattering orgasm with after shocks.  The Eroscillator does not compare or give you after shocks. 

One tip I can give you, if you have an Eroscillator or still want to try one, is to switch speeds once you have an orgasm.  If you are on speed 2, switch back down to speed 1 to ride out the orgasm.  This doesn’t give you a better orgasm, but it allows you to have another one after a few minutes when you switch back to speed 2.  However, it takes some maneuvering from you to switch speeds. 

Let me wrap things up for you:
            If you like to have a build up before an orgasm, the Eroscillator may not be for you.  If you like to have your clit played with in a teasing motion, the Eroscillator is definitely not for you.  There is absolutely no teasing!  No woman is the same or likes the same thing.  When you are buying a sex toy, there are risks that come with it.  Some devices may not work for you. 

The best advice I can give about the Eroscillator, is if you are thinking about buying one, then make sure you can afford it and won’t be remorseful if the device does not replace all other devices or let you down.  If you are searching for the holy grail of sex toys, look else where.  If you are looking to experiment with new technology and can handle the risks, then I say go for it. 

I may have spent a tiny fortune for a device I rarely use, but at least now I do not wonder how the Eroscillator feels.  I know myself and if I never bought the Eroscillator, then I would have always wondered if I missed out on mind blowing sex.  If you are in a financial pinch, then wait and don’t buy this product.  The technology isn’t going any where and hopefully the price will come down. 

Yeah, I have listed a butt-load of cons for the Eroscillator, but I will say it makes your clit super sensitive.  Honestly, I do not really feel any effects while I’m using the Eroscillator most of the time, but when I touch my clit with my finger after using it for a while, oh my God.  Instant orgasm!   I really like to use a traditional vibrator after warming up my clit with the Eroscillator, which actually defeats the purpose of an Eroscillator.  The Eroscillator does not numb your clit, just like the website says.

That is my review of the Eroscillator, feel free leave comments or ask me any questions about my experience.  If I can help someone with their decision on whether to buy a product or not, then I feel this blog is worth it.

3 comments:

  1. While just a shot in the dark, and from a male at that, I would like to offer a cheap test run for you ladies who are not always impressed with a costly toy. Wal-Mart has many battery powered, or rechargeable electric tooth brushes for a fraction of the Eroscillator. These use very similar technology, and if you don't like the results, buy a replacement head, and you still have the tooth brush. As stated, no two ladies are exactly the same. The point about not numbing the clitoris is very important to many. That you find a more sensitive clitoris after use, is notably a bonus. This indicates more blood flow, and possibly even slight swelling as your clit becomes erect.

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    1. My 2 cents. : My wife has an eroscillator.
      Electric tooth brushes may be fraction of the price, but has a fraction of the results. FYI they may have similar technology, but note that the tooth brush has a micro oscillation system compared to the intensity of the eroscillator. Not similar to a vibrator where she can get off faster. It may take more time to get there. Then again when she gets there, it has a more intense result. Like getting a cut from a knife, it hurts. But getting a paper cut you may not fill it right away. But when it kicks in, it hurts more than a knife cut.

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  2. For those asking why I have not made any new reviews, it's because I forgot my password many years ago. I started a new blog at vampsguidetosextoys@blogspot.com Come by if you are interested in new reviews from me. Also, thank you for those who have e-mailed me and encouraged me to continue with my reviews.

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